What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Diver swallowed by whale

Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories that need more attention. This week’s stories are:

  • Utah replenishes fish populations by dropping thousands of fish from the sky.
  • Goldfish dumped in a Minnesota lake have grown massive.
  • Michael Packard, a Cape Cod lobster diver, was swallowed by a whale and spit up on land.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7:30 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr and this is What Did We Miss? Here I tell you the stories you might not have heard and if you have heard them… Uh, I didn’t tell them to you. What, you’re going to other places for news now? Couldn’t we have talked about this first?

First up, we head to Utah for a look at their time-tested way of repopulating the lakes. Since the 1950s, the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources have used planes to dump thousands of fish into the lakes. It’s really incredible to see. They released a video showing over 35,000 fish being dropped from the sky. Take a look at this beautiful slow motion footage of… Okay well that’s just… that’s just fish going from one bucket to another. Let’s try to get that air footage, folks. Typically, fish are restocked through pipes or by car but a lot of these more remote lakes require aerial restocking as is seen in THIS video of… them emptying… another bucket. Y’all, we have the cool part of this story, right?  Anyway the aerial process is quick for the fish and they enter the lake with a high survival rate. Okay here we go, check this out. That’s what it looks like when 35,000 fish suddenly remember they didn’t pack a parachute.

Speaking of lake restocking (You wouldn’t believe how often I use that segue) Officials in Burnsville, Minnesota are asking residents to stop dumping their pet goldfish in the ponds and lakes. See, goldfish are an invasive species there. They compete with the natural wildlife for food, eat everything up until they eventually look like this. Last time I saw a fish that big, it was mounted to a wooden board singing “Take Me To The River” They have found close to 30 gargantuan goldfish. They uproot plants, cause more algae to grow and this leads to poorer water quality. People, please remember: Goldfish don’t belong in these ponds and lakes. They belong in little plastic bags at a carnival game. I played that ping pong ball toss game as a kid. No one warned me that if I won, my prize would be responsibility.

We keep our aquatic theme to meet Michael Packard, a lobster diver with over 40 years experience, who was swallowed by a humpback whale. This man has changed the game for fish stories. Everyone’s usually like “I caught a fish *this* big” and he’s like “A fish *this* big caught *me*.” Packard was diving when he suddenly felt himself enclosed in the mouth of a whale. The whale held onto him before eventually surfacing and spitting him out on land. I feel like this is my fault. Last episode I said “Show me something more biblical than a plague of locusts” and God was like “Deal” 

“I was actually in his mouth maybe 30 seconds. I still had my regulator. I was breathing. I was wondering, one of the things that went through my mind was ‘Oh my god, what if he does swallow me? Here I am breathing air… I’m breathing air until my air runs out?’ Crazy stuff.” I know nothing about this man, what can I tell you though is…. he was doing something he should not have been. I’ve never seen a story where a person gets swallowed by a whale for doing the right thing. This man either lied to the blue fairy about skipping school or isn’t trusting that his friend is capable of helping him find his clownfish son. I’m sure this was a harrowing experience for Mr. Packard but he’s also very lucky, he could have been swallowed by a goldfish.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.

What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Cicada causes driver to crash car

Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report. This week’s stories are:

  • A driver crashed his car after a cicada flew through his window and hit his face.
  • A bear climbed up a utility pole and got stuck. 
  • A man proposed to his girlfriend with a rare diamond he mined himself.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories WWAY did not with a smugness that should only be reserved for show dogs.

First up, Cicadas. They’re back. This current brood went underground when “Friends” ended and came back in time for the reunion.  If you can’t stand cicadas, let me introduce you to someone who hates them more. One Ohio man drove through a swarm of cicadas when one flew through his window, smacked him in the face and caused him to crash into a utility pole.

The driver is alright. Cincinnati police are warning people to keep their windows rolled up or else, they too, will have to tell everyone about the time they got slapped by a bug. I’m sure their insurance will cover this as an “Act of God” Try to convince me there’s something more Biblical than a plague of locusts.

Speaking of utility poles, a bear in Arizona climbed up one and got stuck. It’s not clear why he was up there but most likely, he saw a cicada and ran. Now this is not a safe height for a bear, doesn’t matter how many times we’ve seen Winnie the Pooh use balloons to fly. Worse, the bear is at risk of being electrocuted.Folks, I have a strict “no tragic endings” policy for stories on this show but I have to be honest… I don’t remember how this one ends. We’ll have to check in later.

For now, meet Christian Liden. He’s always dreamed of finding the perfect stone for an engagement ring and now he’s finally done just that. The 26-year-old from Washington had been mining all over the state looking for a gem to make his proposal unique.  On a tip, he decided to check out Arkansas’ Crater of Diamonds State Park. In hindsight, pretty obvious choice. You need a diamond? Go to the Crater of Diamonds. “Where can I find a book?!” “Have you tried, Books-A-Million?” Christian and his friend searched for three days before they found this 2.2 carat yellow diamond. This is a sweet story until you realize this millennial prospector was just procrastinating the proposal. “Why can’t we get married yet?” “Cause I need to find the jewels! There’s gold in them thar hills!” 

I’m being told to pretend we’re going live to something. Now I’m being told to keep my hand here so you don’t notice, I’m not wearing an earpiece. Linemen shut off the electricity before using a bucket truck to approach the suspended omnivore. Once close enough the linemen ignored a very crucial idiom and began to literally poke the bear. Fortunately that was enough to remind the bear he knows how to climb and he scampered off. Good thing the power company has this on video because I’m sure none of the customers who lost power believed them.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed. 

What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Celebrating Black History Month

Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report.

This week I take a break from weird news to celebrate Black History Month by sharing profiles on American history icons.

Enjoy the video and learn more about Althea Gibson, Thurgood Marshall, and Shirley Chisholm. It’s a history lesson filled with laughs.

Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I normally tell you the stories that WWAY did not but this month I want to celebrate Black History Month with you and talk about some of my personal heroes.

First up, Althea Gibson. Before there was Serena Williams… There was Venus Williams but only by like a year. But before both of them was Althea Gibson. As a kid in Harlem, Gibson was a natural at table tennis until someone finally asked her “How would you like to do this but bigger?” Gibson competed in tournaments in the American Tennis Association, a tennis league for African-American players. She kept winning so frequently and so decisively that it became impossible for the all-white tournaments to justify keeping her locked out. In 1950 she became the first Black tennis player to compete in the U.S. National Championship and she was the first African-American to compete at Wimbledon in 1951. Her win at the 1956 French Open made her the first African-American to win a grand slam title. She’d go on to win 10 more. Althea Gibson is also a Williston alum, she attended the then segregated industrial school while training with Dr. Hubert Eaton. So next time someone asks you “Who is the greatest athlete out of Wilmington, NC?” Answer “Althea Gibson” It’s the fastest way to make Michael Jordan suddenly appear and drop 50 on you.

Up next is Thurgood Marshall. What you might already know about Thurgood Marshall is that he was our nation’s first black supreme court justice opening the doors for Clarence Thomas… Anyway prior to his role on the bench, he had a very impressive career as a lawyer. Marshall was a lawyer for the NAACP legal defense fund. His strategy was to use the legal system to case-by-case prove that separate was not equal. I mean, people kind of knew that already but he had to get the courts to say it. Thurgood Marshall argued a record 32 cases before the Supreme Court and won 29 of them. That’s like Steph Curry’s free throw percentage. Each of these cases laid the groundwork for the groundbreaking Brown versus The Board of Education decision in 1954. This ruled that *mandating school segregation is unconstitutional whereas just kind of letting it happen is still allowed. Lyndon Johnson nominated Marshall to the Supreme Court in 1967. Johnson predicted that because of this appointment a lot of baby boys would be named after Marshall. This did not come true, largely because his name is still Thurgood.

Shirley Chisholm was elected the first black congresswoman in 1968. That’s 192 years after the signing of the Declaration of Independence, 98 years after Black men got the right to vote., 48 years after women got the right to vote, and 43 years before Beyoncé asked “Who Run The World?” Shirley St. Hill was born in New York and raised in my ancestral homeland, Barbados. By “ancestral” I mean my Dad is from there… he doesn’t like being called an ancestor. Chisholm entered the 1972 Democratic Presidential Primary, becoming the first African-American to run for office. She picked up 152 delegates or as we now know it, 10 Pete Buttigiegs. Being the first Black person to run for president opened the door to so many others. Without her, you don’t get Barack Obama, you don’t get Kamala Harris, and you don’t get Kanye West. I’m sure she doesn’t want credit for one of those. She was a founding member of the Congressional Black Caucus and the National Women’s Political Caucus. Chisholm served in the US House of Representatives until 1983. She was posthumously awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 2015, one year before Wilmington’s second greatest athlete did.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. Happy Black History Month.

What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Former eBay employees charged with cyberstalking critic

Every week I get to go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report. This week’s stories are:

  • eBay employees harassed a Massachusetts couple that wrote critical blogs about the company.
  • Fort Lauderdale police chased a runaway kangaroo.
  • Japanese company, Telexistence, has created a robot that will stock grocery shelves.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? New Jersey home stalked by “The Watcher” sold

Every week I get to go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report.

After years of receiving creepy, threatening letters, a couple in New Jersey sold their home at a $400,000 loss. Emily Gomez and Phill Antonino appear in this week’s episode.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 6:30am and 11pm. Watch earlier episodes here.

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