Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report. This week’s stories are:
- A Louisiana woman was arrested after pocketing the $1.2 Million Charles Schwab accidentally put in her account.
- A woman returned her library book 63 years after it was due.
Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7 pm. Watch earlier episodes here.
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Transcript:
How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories WWAY did not, depriving you, of the chance to just look them up yourselves.
First up, we go to Louisiana where a woman is being charged with fraud for not returning the money accidentally deposited in her bank account. Kelyn Spadoni was expecting a deposit from Charles Schwab but was stunned to find $1.2 Million. Schwab meant to send her $82 and 56 cents. I don’t know how you even make that mistake. You can put the decimal anywhere on 82.56 without ever getting $1.2 Million. Now when the bank tried to get that money back they couldn’t because Spadoni closed her account, moved the money, and bought a house and a car. Now, obviously, that wasn’t the moral thing to do but from where I sit, in my fully unqualified seat, that’s her money. Yeah, it was put there by mistake. That’s Charles Schwab’s mistake. They can keep the mistake, the money is hers. I’ll concede that’s against the rules, but that money became hers the second she got rich enough for rules to no longer apply to her. Spadoni was arrested on charges of theft and bank fraud. Her bail was set to $150,000 and, if you can believe it, she made that.
A Wisconsin woman returned a library book, 63 years after it was due. The library doesn’t even call you anymore after 6 months. That’s coming from experience. Betty Diamond checked out a collection of Paul Bunyan stories from the Queens Public Library when she was 10-years-old. Once it became overdue, she grew too embarrassed to bring it back. (“My ten-year-old solution was let’s just pretend this didn’t happen: SOT) Betty finally returned the book 63 years later with an apologetic note plus $500 to cover the late fee. Late fees cap at $15. This woman paid a $485 guilt fee. Now, Betty’s story actually inspired me to finally return my overdue item. A while ago, I went to the New Hanover Public Library and checked out “Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince”… The movie, not the book. Now, I kept moving this DVD case around my place so I could see it and remember to take it back which I did… after 6 months. Then, New Hanover County Public Library called me to say that the DVD case was empty. Sure enough, still in the player. Now I am not just going to take a DVD out of the player without a case to put it in, I’m no sadist. So I left it in the DVD player where it was safe… for another 8 months before I brought it back inside a classical music compilation CD case. Please learn from my mistake, learn from Betty’s mistake. The Public Library is a vital, and helpful resource so don’t use it if you’re unreliable. You know you best. Just don’t be the reason some person can’t see Ron Weasley on a love potion.
I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.
Wills Maxwell Jr. 