What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Cows airlifted down Swiss mountainside

Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories that need more attention. This week’s stories are:

  • French artist, Saype, painted a 1500-meter portrait on a mountainside.  
  • Cows were airlifted down the Alps.
  • NYPD removed 10,000 bees swarming a street sign. 
  • A neighborhood in Argentina is overrun with capybaras.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7:30 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories you might not have heard because you were too busy following real news.

First we head into the Swiss Alps to take in a truly breathtaking sight. Just an awe-inspiring, thrilling, spectacula- are you looking at the massive mountainside art right now. I mean, it’s not what I was talking about but this is pretty cool too. French artist, Saype, created this stunning 1500 square meter painting using biodegradable paint. Titled“A New Lease On Life”, it’s meant to evoke that feeling of childlike wonder. It’s a reminder to look at the small things with awe. In that spirit… we have to get to that breathtaking sight I was telling you about.

Behold, The hills are alive with the sound of mooing! Every year, cows make their way to the lower pastures of the Alps. Typically they hoof it but some cows can’t traverse the tricky terrain due to age or injury. That’s when… they get to the chopper.12 cows were hooked up to a harness and flown down the mountain. Even if that cow’s injury heals, it’s never making that walk again. This cow now knows what it feels like to fly and will spend the rest of its bovine life chasing that literal high. Also, the flying ones are never hanging out with the walking cows again. They’re on another social stratosphere. People who fly first class don’t have Greyhound friends. Those cows are now snobs talking to each other like “My word, did you catch that artwork?”

Midtown Manhattan was abuzz with over 10,000 bees swarming a street pole. New York Police Department was called to the scene. I assume, to cite the bees for loitering. The NYPD beekeeper retired the day before. If you already knew the NYPD had a beekeeper, do me a favor and pretend you didn’t so you can be shocked with me. This was handled by his replacement, Detective Travis from NYPD’s Special Ops. One thing I know about Detective Travis: When he introduces himself, he just says he works Special Ops, the beekeeping thing is on a need-to-know. Police work requires a lot of bravery but… this is the bravest cop I’ve seen in my life. The man is out here vacuuming bees in a short sleeve t-shirt. That were me, I’d have on more layers than Shrek’s feelings.

Finally, we go to Argentina where an upscale neighborhood is overrun with Capybaras. Capybaras are the world’s largest rodents and the closest thing real life has to Pokemon. Hundreds of them are eating up the lawns and gardens in this gated community. The neighborhood was built on the Paraná wetlands, the capybara’s habitat. Yeah, you moved into their home. They’ll be around. You can’t just move into someone’s home and be annoyed they’re there. Don’t come in my apartment, move all your stuff in and go “You know, I like Wills.. But does he always have to be around?” If they want to remove these things, honestly hit up NYPD Special Ops. They might have something.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.

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