Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories that need more attention. This week’s stories are:
- Several goats escaped and roamed the city of Atlanta.
- A new statue in Spain shows a young woman drowning in the tide.
- French President Emmanual Macron was hit with an egg
Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7:30 pm. Watch earlier episodes here.
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How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories you might not have heard. It’s like a make-up class for useless news.
First up, we head to Georgia where a herd of goats escaped and roamed the capital city making it “GoAtlanta”: A portmanteau that’s better written than said. The goats were rented by a supermarket to clear weeds out of the lawn which I take to mean someone was asked to order weedeaters and they misunderstood the assignment. The goats slipped outside their fencing which is why you just get a trimmer. You know what trimmers don’t do? Escape. You’ve never seen a bunch of landscapers on riding mowers, tearing through the city as they lasso runaway trimmers. Police, animal control, volunteers were able to round up all of the goats without any injuries. The herbivores were seen grazing at a furniture outlet making it “Rooms-to-Goat” A portmanteau that’s better said than written.
Next we go to Spain where a new statue is causing a stir. As the tide of the River Nervion lowers it reveals the face of a young woman who appears to be completely okay with drowning. I mean, why not? It happens to her several times a day. The completely unannounced piece was installed overnight and caught residents offguard. Which is really the only way to do it. There’s no way to warn people like “Hey, tomorrow you’re going to see a fiberglass giant that looks like she needs to be saved. She doesn’t. Don’t jump in.” Artist Ruben Orozco named the piece “Bihar” which is Basque for “tomorrow”. It serves as a warning about climate change so it should be called “The day after bihar” The artist says the statue reminds people that “their actions can sink us or keep us afloat” Another reminder that climate change is the world’s most stressful group project.
French President Emmanuel Macron was visiting a food trade fair in Lyon when someone threw an egg at him. The 19-year-old who threw the egg will likely face charges for “assault on a public official” but worse for them… the egg didn’t even crack on Macron. It bounced off of him like he was a mattress in a Tempurpedic commercial. It’s a bad day when you attempt a produce-related felony and egg only ends up on your face. A spokesperson for the President says the event is being overblown on account of the 2 hours Macron spent being warmly received by the crowd. Look, all of the minutes of people not actively throwing an egg don’t matter once someone throws an egg at him. That’s what the story is about now. If I drive my car for 10 hours and then crash it into a painted mountainside I mistook for a tunnel, no one will want to hear about tall the time I spent listening to audiobooks.
Folks, this week makes it a very important milestone for the show. As of this week, we’ve been doing “What Did We Miss? For 5 years which is insane to me. I owe that all to you. Thank you all so much for watching the show, for sharing the show, for reaching out to me and telling me you like it. There hasn’t been a single day these 5 years where it hasn’t seemed insane to me that I get to do this. And if this is the first episode you’ve ever seen… there’s 5 years’ worth of episodes at wwaytv3.com/what-did-we-miss with a healthy amount of hyphens in there as well. So check that out. From the bottom of my heart folks, thank you all very much.
I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.