Tag: climate change

What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Climate activist tackled at Paris fashion show

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Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories that need more attention. This week’s stories are:

  • A climate change activist took to the runway at the Louis Vuitton fashion show.
  • A new statue in Jersey City features a woman in a  “shushing” pose. 
  • An 81-year-old skateboarder just picked up the sport 2 years ago.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7:30 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories you might have missed. Don’t worry, you never needed to know them.

First up, we take a look at the Louis Vuitton show during Paris’ Fashion Week and not just because I’m known for being trendy. The show took an unexpected turn when an activist came down the catwalk holding a banner to protest overconsumption and its effects on the environment.I know she doesn’t belong but, that’s a pretty good runway strut. I mean, Tyra might have some notes about how she’s not smizing isn’t compensating for the face mask but seriously, 7/10. The protester was trying to sashay away when security intercepted her.Why tackle her on the way back. First off, we read the message already. Damage done. Next, she’s leaving. You’re just making her exit take longer. This man is if “And stay out!” was a person. The activist was thrown into the street while two of her accomplices were arrested. They were released and had their cases thrown out because the courts don’t recognize the authority of the fashion police.

Residents in Jersey City can’t stop talking about the new art installation along the Hudson River. “Water’s Soul” by James Plensa features the head of a woman holding up her finger in a shushing pose. The 80-foot librarian is meant to encourage people to be still and self-reflect.Plensa said he hopes the sculpture becomes an icon for Jersey City and quote “acts to unite the City of Jersey City and New York City” The only problem is, it’s facing across the river and aimed at Manhattan. With respect, have you ever tried to tell a New Yorker to be quiet? For my New Yorkers who got mad at that joke, I want to point out… you just yelled at your TV. Just now, someone shouted “Hey! I’m not loud!” This statue is about to end up so deep in the Hudson, Chesley Sullenberger won’t be able to save it.

A 20-story skyscraper in Sweden is made entirely out of wood. “Fine by me!” says the Big Bad Wolf.

Meet Yoshio Kinoshita. This avid skateboarder is learning new tricks and just started skateboarding 2 years ago, when he was a spry 79-years-old. He’s 81. This man is literally older than skateboards. I know, I Binged it up. Kinoshita began skateboarding after he randomly bought a board he saw on sale. None of my impulse purchases ever flourished into new and fascinating skills. No one wants to see all of the things I can do with snuggie. Lie down, mostly. Mostly, lie down… and not even for long. I have to readjust. Yoshio recommends skateboarding as an excellent activity for senior citizens to combat dementia and I recommend literally anything you don’t need to wear a helmet for.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.

What Did We Miss?

What Did We Miss? Woman charged with embezzlement for not returning VHS rental 20 years ago

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Every week, I go on WWAY News and give a comedic report on the weird or obscure news stories they did not report. This week’s stories are:

  • ‘Torched Earth’ is a new beer that tastes awful to raise climate change awareness.
  • An Australian man was attacked by a territorial octopus.
  • Caron McBride was surprised to learn a 20-year overdue rental of “Sabrina The Teenage Witch” landed her a felony embezzlement charge.

 Watch “What Did We Miss?” on WWAY News every Thursday at 5:30 am and 7 pm. Watch earlier episodes here. 

Sign-up below to subscribe to my newsletter.

By clicking submit, you agree to share your email address with the site owner and Mailchimp to receive marketing, updates, and other emails from the site owner. Use the unsubscribe link in those emails to opt out at any time.

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Transcript:

How goes it? I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and this is “What Did We Miss?” Here I tell you the stories WWAY did not. Not all the stories, just enough to make you think I’m fascinating.

New Belgium Brewing’s latest beer, Torched Earth, tastes terrible. That’s not my review; it’s on purpose. New Belgium says the awful taste is meant to bring awareness to climate change. Bravo to that PR team. That is impressive. Someone told them their product is awful and they went “Uh, yeah…. The ice caps are melting. You think we’re going to make good beer at a time like this? Priorities, man” Climate change is making certain beer ingredients harder to obtain so Torched Earth is made without any of them. Instead of hops and good grains, it’s made out of dirty water, dandelions and not-as-good grains. So sure, add ‘bad beer’ to the list of things wrong with a climate crisis. Not only could mankind be thrown into a Roland Emmerich-level disaster, we’re all going to be surviving it sober.

Up next, we head to Australia where a man found himself the target of a spiteful octopus. This is a story that would never happen to me. I’ll talk you through it. Lance Karlson was at the beach when he saw what he thought was a stingray lashing out of the water so he went to go get a closer look. That’s the first part where this tale would have ended for me. I see a stingray at the beach, I’m like “It’s none of my business. Keep it moving.” Karlson got close enough to see that it was an octopus who was not pleased to see him. This is the second part where were I the protagonist, the story would be over because now my beach day is ruined and I’m going home. Instead, Karlson set his family up on the beach and decided to go for a swim. That’s when the world’s most vindictive octopus came back for more. Karlson felt tentacle stings on his arms, neck and back. Third part where the story would have ended for me… here is where I die. I don’t know how to treat stings. Fortunately, Lance knew to treat himself with soda and is fine. So if anyone ever tells you soda isn’t healthy let them know that there is one incredibly specific scenario where it is.

A few weeks ago I told you about a woman who returned a library book 63 years overdue and faced zero consequences for it. Now we go to a woman who is not as lucky. Texas Woman, Caron McBride, recently discovered she’s wanted for felony embezzlement after failing to return a VHS of Sabrina, The Teenage Witch, 20 years ago. The recently married McBride was attempting to update her driver’s license when the DMV informed her she had an outstanding warrant for her arrest in Norman, Oklahoma. She was still wanted even though that video store shut down over a decade ago. You knew that, because it’s a video store. The only open place where you can still see a VHS is a museum. McBride claims she never checked out the tape and believes it was her ex-boyfriend, who is ignoring her Facebook messages. In his defense, he probably hasn’t watched it yet and wants a little more time. Caron’s charges have now been dropped. No word on if this Sabrina VHS contains the made-for-TV movie or the TGIF sitcom. We will keep an active eye on this story until we find out.

I’m Wills Maxwell Jr. and that’s what we missed.